The Great Debacle

One of the things I have learnt since I bought this new bike is that since the last time I rode a bike, circa 2006 when I had the Suzuki GS750, things have changed somewhat in the field of bikes and parts manufacturing. Old fogies like me will always begin a sentence with words or phrases like, “Back in my day….” and then go rambling on about how things were better back then, as if we have moved into a society that somehow is failing us.

Oh wait, I forget. We have!

Whenever it gets to the point where such a debacle as I have recently endured can take place, I know that consumerism has taken over and biking, bikers and bikes have begun to suffer as a result. Let me explain. When I bought the bike in November last year, I did so knowing that there were some marks on her, on the box [a lot of scrapes and dents] and that sooner or later, I would have to change them out to make it look nicer, neater and newer. My OCD would never let me live with those marks.

Little did I realise the debacle that would follow.

When I got the bike, she looked like this.


She was and remains, a good looking beast, but upon closer inspection, a mark or two on the bodywork that cannot really be fixed by me means they will have to be left, but the back box needed sorting and I quickly decided that it would have to go in one way or another.

So, one day, I decided to get my meagre tool box out and try to remove the bolts. It is an easy job, I thought, but they had welded on with time over seven years and there was no way I was going to get this off without help and assistance from somewhere, so I shouted out in a facebook group I am in and someone just around the corner said come and see me. Twenty minutes after starting and getting air hoses and angle grinders on the thing, he asked do I want to keep the plate. Now here was my first error for I was so annoyed, I said, “No, do you want to use it, or sell it for your help?”

I am simply too nice at times!

It was a Honda box on from the birth of the bike and worth £450 new, but Muggins here did not know that until later, so my new friend got a right little earner there. So now, I was left with a rack where I could get a standard, universal box and all would be well. £20 later off Ebay and I am waiting for my new box to arrive. When it came I was elated, for it looked marvellous and had its own universal fitting kit, but could I get it fitted to the old [CBF1000] rack? You guessed it, the answer was in the negative. Now I had a bike that looked leaner yet all I could do with the rack was tie bungee ropes around black bags or something like that, if I wanted to go anywhere nice, like camping for bike races.


Lesson learnt. Never try to do anything yourself when you neither have the skills or the tools or even the know how. It is a waste of time and money. So far, this had cost me nothing apart from the loss of the box, so a local bike shop helped me take the rack off when I could not get that to shift either. Thus I ended up with a back end that just looked odd when the rack was removed. I was advised it was not the rack for the bike but I have come to think they might have been saying that for commercial sales reasons, trying to get me to spend more of my hard earned. The same racks on ebay are selling for £70.


Now, the bike looked like this on the back end and no matter how hard I tried, the box would not fit to the rack and when the rack went I had a choice; spend about £250 on a full Givi set, or buy a rack that is considered “Universal” to fit my bike so I could add my new box. Because of funds being sparse, I decided on being frugal and immediately regretted it because when the new rack came, there were issues. No matter how I tried to match plate to box [which would work], when you added the plate to the rack, there was no way the box was going to fit on.

Now I had a rack and a box that were useless, so again, I took advice. Someone had rewelded their rack to make the sissy bar more of a 90 degree angle than the 45 degree it came as [it was a sports rack designed for bungee roping things on the back etc] so I paid someone £10 to do that for me. When I finally got it back after a week of waiting, I put plate to box, and plate to rack, added it to the bike and found the holes where the bolts go through were out by about 8mm. No way would the rack ever fit to the bike! No way of sending it back as a reject because I had amended it. Thoughts of annoyance and anger at myself for not picking the Givi set idea in the first place. I am such a Numptie at times and should know better. Let those who do it professionally fit the thing.

So now, I had a box that was worthless, would not resell on ebay, a rack that would not fit and a bike that was naked. Two very special friends on Facebook put that to rights when one offered me an M5 plate for a Givi rack set, for free. I said yes please. It would save me £40 or thereabouts. The other offered me a set of grab rails at a very reasonable price, so I got both. The bike suddenly looked somewhere like it should be.


By this time, I had made the decision to ask the local dealer to help me out. I had tried to sell the new cheap box on ebay but there were no buyers out there, so that and the rack went to the skip. The man at the skip told me that if it was okay with me, they have a spare area for “bric-a-brac” where things are auctioned off for local charities. I said of course and left them with him. What he does next with it is up to him.

And then, when the time came for me to go down to the dealer, I had ordered a new Givi rack and 37 litre box. I had the M5 monokey plate, so all would be well, they assured me. On the day I go down, I get there and leave the bike with them and after an hour, return to find they are having “issues” getting it all to fit. We had fallen foul of a Givi decision made some time ago, making my gifted “M5” plate not be able to fit to the new rack that was the given rack on their system for my bike. The rack was on, but the plate would not fit to the rack!

It is at these times that you know someone has something against you! Fate has fouled you [I so wanted to type another word there]. Time has trampled over you and your beliefs that this will ever get sorted vanish. In the end, Givi had manufactured and sold the M5 plate for their CBF600 bikes through the Noughties to about 2009 and then, from 2010, they had manufactured a plated called an, “M5M” plate, that fitted the “M5M” rack designed for my bike. Gone were the days of get a rack, get a box and with two spanners, put the thing on! Gone were the days when the consumer was King!

I was more than demoralised by now!

But the mechanic, who sussed I was about to opt for buggering off down the road on the bike with just the grab rails, came up with an idea. He would look in their old stock, for an M5M plate. It would mean I would have to pay an extra £40 but it could all then be put together. The other option was to put one on order and wait a week or so to come back the 12 miles and have a go again. He knew, I think, what my reaction to that would be. This had been happening for weeks now, so he found one from somewhere [the cynic in me knows this was a sales ploy] and within ten minutes, the rack, plate and box were on.

At last, over a period of several weeks, I now have something worth looking at but what has it shown me? What lessons have I had to endure to get from grotty old box to this? Well the first is that I should have asked for help to get the Honda box off so it could be repaired. A few quid for repair would be better than this. Second, never ever try to fix something if it ain’t broken and my box, although damaged, still worked. Thirdly, never try to do something you know you cannot do. And lastly, if in doubt, order the whole thing rather than trying to cut corners. My friends in the CBF600 group on Facebook sure helped me out and I will be forever thankful [especially as I try to sell the M5 plate to recoup the money paid] but in the end, what I should have done was left it all alone, removed the Honda box, had it fixed and then added it back on.

With the money saved, I could have ordered and had fitted my next purchase, a Hugger for the back wheel.

Only time will tell if I do this and the truth of the matter is obvious. I am NOT about to try and fit it myself! In good old Yorkshire terms, “Sod that!”










Where is Barnard Castle Again?

The thing to do when you get a new bike is get out on her as often as you can and with my illnesses and ailments, being partially disabled through injury on and off a bike, it is not always easy for me to just hop on the newbie as often as I would like to. But I had that chance recently as I got the chance, on a blustery, windswept day, to start off from Stokesley and head out to Yarm, before crossing over to Darlington and then via the A66 and A67, to Barnard Castle. It was an interesting run out to test the bike now I am used to her, to see what she was capable of in terms of handling when the wind is up.

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And boy, was the wind up. It was up more than a boozer’s back end after a night on the booze and a Ruby to end the night! The wind blew from just about every direction and on one occasion, swept me sideways, so far, that I thought I would end up on the grass verge at the side of the 66 coming back. Not the first time I would have been laid out in a farmer’s field and not very pretty.

I set off, not having a SATNAV mounted to the handlebars [my next purchase], which was interesting to say the least. I had looked at the map online of course, knowing I had to go through towards Yarm but the maps on Google Maps were not so clear as to whether I was to avoid the centre of Yarm or not, so I had to pull over, get the stand down, check the phone and set off again. Yes, Yarm centre, always chock full of cars, was a nightmare as usual but with a bit of patience, something I am not that good at, as well as some crafty balancing on two wheels [have you ever tried that behind cars, to see how long it takes to put the left foot down?] I was through and on my way to “Darlo” as the natives call it here. I am from South Yorkshire. We have another few names for it I am sure!


But then I had to stop again when that sensation of where the hell am I kicked in. Another check of the maps on the phone from my pocket and I knew I had to head to the 66 and then the 67 and I would be on the right road. Three roundabouts and all would be well. Six roundabouts later and I am thinking this is a bloody long way and expecting to see the banner which says WELCOME TO SCOTLAND pass me by any second, but another stop told me my error and off I went again, trundling now along a country road to the place of my destination, some 9 miles away.

Let me tell you, that was the longest, most violent 9 miles I have ever encountered because of the wind and because one idiot after another in car or van decided to make my day and treat me as a punk! So I acted like one and blew them all off in a cloud of smoke and annoyance, eventually arriving at Barnard Castle where I could stop, have a brew and a cigarette, before having a gander at the castle.


But there was no castle in sight, just a monument to Methodism in the shape of a church, somewhere I would love to preach in by the way [my Sunday job as I call it] but a little wander made me go round the back and there, before my eyes, was this castle I had heard so much about in my youth. I began to walk to the gates and then was confronted with a price guide for entry. Since when did museum pieces and castles start charging? I thought they were free entry and then buy the goodies. Alas, no more, so I swiftly said what I thought, took a few photos of the exterior and left, disgruntled at the cost of entry into such as this in our heritage.

Now was the time for the journey back but the trip there had been so eventful and at times, slow, that I thought bugger that and decided to go the other way out of the town/village. First stop was Bowes, over a bridge and then onto the big A road going from Scotch Corner to Penrith. Good job I did not turn right eh? As I was heading down that road, I was suddenly aware that this road takes me to Scotch Corner services, and felt such a fool for coming the way I did. Stuff using Google Maps again I say.

But such as I am, another thought entered my little noggin as I was riding, head down and rear up, along to the services; do not turn left and go back the way you came. Turn right and head for Northallerton, then home that way, and am I so glad I did. Yes, I had to stomach ten miles of 50mph aggregated speeds through cameras, but after that, as I got off and headed to Northallerton, the ride home was so much better.


I got home a happy chappie, but not before stopping twice to rest my weary back and legs. You see, as I get to know this new bike, I am more and more aware that the seat needs raising a tad. I am 5 foot 10 inches in height and at its lowest setting [I think] I feel like Willie Carson on board the Queen’s Neddie at Epsom, so there is a new job for me, or for the mechanic when the Givi box goes on next week. I have thought about trading for the CBF1000 and have looked online at three or four, but as yet, not one of them makes me want to get my wallet out.

Instead, I think a Summer on the 600 has to be the thing for me. I am off to Oliver’s Mount next week for the Bob Smith Cup racing, so that should be my next blog entry.

Until then, safe riding, good journeys and may the road always be clear for you!

Lessons Learnt

I learnt the meaning of friendship and brotherly biker gifting today!

I have been having issues with my bike in the sense that I removed a smashed top box, a Honda one, binned it [and then found it was worth a lot of money even when broken or damaged] and then removed the rack as well, thinking I will get one off ebay, which I did and then found the damn thing would not fit.

Lesson #1 learnt. Use a supplier who is trusted, not some Ebay twonk who can sell you a Doozie of something that is supposed to be for the bike, but actually, isn’t. So, when discussing my plight with friends on Facebook, as well as within a CBF600 fan group, I was offered a spare plate for a Monokey Givi rack and box. I accepted this and was then asked if the man concerned could bring the thing to me, as he was thinking of having a day on the bike. He lives about 80 miles away from me, so that was lesson #2 learnt; some folk are really kind and when they ride a CBF600 like you do, they can surprise the hell out of you with an incredible gift. I am off to the dealer tomorrow to order the new rack and box. Within a week, all should be well. Thanks Tony.


We agreed [yesterday] to go for a short punt up the road to Sandsend, near Whitby. This was to be my first real ride out where I was not on my own, since getting my new bike, so I was looking forward to it. Little did I realise that I would get the bug and what started as a 30 minute ride to Sandsend, for a coffee and a chat, before setting off back; he to Wakefield and me back home to Stokesley, actually turned into a five hour bike ride for the both of us. Lesson #3 learnt today was therefore, to expect nothing when out on the bike and just go with the flow. It is easier that way.

Our little meet up and treat was in a word, glorious! It has been a real blessing to meet someone I had never met before today and for that I thank Facebook and its founders, for without social media in this instance, we would just be two CBF600 riders who would more than likely never be destined to meet, especially somewhere as beautiful as Sandsend.


But the ride out today was a stunner, as you will see from the photos I am adding here. From Stokesley to Sandsend is about 20 miles and takes about 30 minutes. Some of it is very twisty in places and at others, so long as you are not hitting things in the road, like an alloy casting someone had left lying there, you are fine. I saw it at the last minute, began to swerve to miss it and guess what, belted it with the front wheel. For a moment there, I thought to myself that there would be damage. It was the size of a tennis ball and solid metal, shiny and dangerous for a bike to hit. Visions of front end massacres I have had where the front end has gone before flashed through my head as I wobbled all over the place, trying to save the bike and then looking down to assess if there was any damage at all.

Thankfully, there was no damage! CBF600 = Strong Beast!


So on we went to Sandsend, where after a brew and for me, a well earned Bacon Butty, something I had been craving for the best part of a week now [going Vegan is a Bitch] we decided to ride the last little bit into a very sunny Whitby, on the north coast of England. Now I love Whitby and have done since going there with the school when I was about ten, so the chance to ride there was not going to be missed. The bike performed effortlessly, especially when one Numptie in a Micra sized car, you know, the sort that I could happily squash if still driving my 7.5 tonne van, decided to slow down going up hill because he knew I was in a solid white lined road both sides. I waited and when I got the chance, he simply saw a red and black flash go past him into the sun. I cannot stand idiots on the road. I am the worst, after all.

Now for all those who may be from abroad, Whitby is famous for all sorts of things; Captain Cook, Goths, Bram Stoker and the Dracula legend and an unwritten law where I am from, that if you visit, you have to have a plate or tray of fish and chips.

We both behaved ourselves!

We parked up and admired the scenery, taking some fantastic photos, memories I shall cherish for a long time and ones that I will annoy my kids and Grandkids with, when they get off their arses and make me a Granddad! They will see this so they have been warned.

Remember what I said about going with the flow? Well, I decided to go with the flow and take a drive up through Sleights, behind my new friend, who went round a slow moving tractor or muck spreader and then proceeded to bugger off into the distance, leaving me behind this rambling monster of a vehicle. Memories of my trip to Le Mans came flooding back.


I soon caught up with some speedy manoeuvring of the bike through the traffic and then on to the open roads out to Pickering, where we said our farewells, and he went on to Malton and I hung a right to Helmsley. Before we got there though, we had a short stop at somewhere I remember when I was a kid on the trip to Whitby. See picture above. Legend has it that the shape of this is hand shaped, as if a giant hand has reached down and grabbed a handful of earth. Only legend mind so do not scoff.

At Pickering, we went our separate roads and I got stuck in traffic coming out of Pickering and going to Helmsley. I love Helmlsey for a pit stop, so rode the bike up to this wonderful little market town and stopped for another brew and a chicken pastie. I even made a friend whilst sat there next to the monument. An elderly gentleman started to talk to me, telling me of a haunt in Whitby that does Thursday Night events. It is called The Whistlestop and is somewhere I shall be heading before too long. They get about 200 bikes every week in the summer. Out of all the bikes and bikers there, he was the nicest and eventually, he got up and got on his bike; a battered out old pushbike, with a basket on the front and one of those clip things you held stuff down with on the back when you was a kid. On the back was a sticker that simply read, “THINK BIKE!”

Respect to the man!


The final part of my 20 mile jaunt took me from Helmsley back home to Stokesley, via one or two stops to admire the scenery. What began therefore, as a short jaunt, turned into a 5 hour marathon of riding and all the way round each wonderful step, I was singing a song out loud, whilst fighting the wind, the bike and the road. The song, I blame my wife for. She has a ringtone that keeps going off that is the song, You Are My Sunshine and it is that that I was singing all the time. This tends to happen each time I ride this bike. It is as though I was singing to the old girl below me, asking not to ever have the sunshine taken away from me.


Just before getting home, at Chop Gate, or near there, is this view. I have driven past it a dozen times since last August when we moved here, but never stopped. I decided to do so today for a short respite and I was not disappointed. Some will say it is beautiful and it is. Others will say it is an inspiring view and it is. But the one thing that came to my mind was the wonder of God’s creation in all its splendour. On the way back, the scenery is excessively joyous to behold on that road and this is no exception, but this view had me mesmerised.

I love this bike!

But at the end of it all, when I consider telling the tale of the Pheasant Killer Biker [but shall refrain], or the one about the surprise this bike always tends to be, when riding, the one thing that I learned today, or lesson #4 learnt, was this: When the clocks go forward into Summer time, change your bloody clock forward when you do all the rest in the house. I was sat there, happily mootling along the road, coming from Helmsley to home, thinking it is only 2.30pm, when in fact, it was 3.30pm. Oops!


Not bad from 1030am to 3-45pm to be out and about on the bike.

Best half a tank I have ever spent!

My thanks to Tony Ward for some of these pictures. Northumberland next time? We are already planning a jaunt there before too long.

An Endorphin Rush

The first day of Summer has finally got here and so, I decided to go for a nice long jaunt on my new bike. What a journey it was too.


For those who do not know, I now live in a little place called Stokesley, about ten miles south of Middlesbrough, in the UK. We have been here since last August when I was given a bungalow in my retirement.

In late November 2016, I bought this new, to me, bike, a Honda CBF600S and boy, is it a revelation. I have had thrills and spills on everything from a 50cc Garelli, to a GSX1400 Suzuki [see other blog pieces on here] but the first real jaunt has so far been the best and a taster of what is to come through this summer I hope.

I set off to Thirsk, to start with, because I had issues with a box and rack that came with the bike. The box was damaged. It looks like some over zealous ferry official had strapped the bike to a load of others, either on the ferry to the TT, or some other boat, causing all sorts of scrapes and damage, mainly to the box, but in minor places, to the fairing as well. So I removed the box and then could not get the damn rack off, which just happened to be the wrong rack for the bike! So I went to Thirsk today, down the A172 and onto the A19, where I was able to open the throttle somewhat and find out what she was capable of.


Reviews of the bike use words like “planted” when referring to the CBF600 and this one is no different. I was enjoying myself in seconds, now that I am used to the bike. It has taken a while, due mainly to the inclement weather and the few times I have had opportunity to get out on the thing. But today was a revelation indeed and by the time I got to Teasdales Bike shop, in Thirsk, I was beginning to have too much fun.


A short stop there, to remove the offending rack, left me with no grab rails, or sissy bars, as we know them to be named where I come from, a bit weird, but I thought they would be cheap. I was wrong! A rack costs the same as two grab rails for heaven’s sake, and that is ebay prices, not dealer prices. And so, once all was secured and the rubber things put under the seat for safety, I decided to head off to my favourite bike haunt, the Squires Cafe Bar in [or near to] Sherburn In Elmet. I did not know it, but the trip to Thirsk is 20 miles and then the one to Sherburn would add on another 45 or so.

But the ride was incredible!

I have had fun before on bikes, most notably the Deauville I had and the 1400, especially for speed, but for handling, I have never been so relaxed on a bike than on this little 600. It handles beautifully. It eats up the road once you get past 7k revs and behaves like a hooligan once you get past 8k revs. Now I can be a bit of a maniac when it comes to riding. I like the speed. But this little bike had me laughing my ass off half way down the A1M as I was heading to the Squires. By the time I had got there, albeit with a numb bum and an aching back due to my two hernias, I got the shock of my life.

The place was rammed with bikes of all sorts of varieties!




A cuppa later and a short trip to the local parts store round the back and I was off again, this time back home, via Tadcaster and York, the country way, the scenic route. Little did I know this route would be the harder way to get home but it was still a joy. The little bike surprised the hell out of me; surprised a few endorphins out of me as well and made for one very enjoyable ride. It was, in a word, remarkable!


I am now looking forward to being able one day to going down to Doncaster to see my Mother, just so I can get on the bike and take her further. What started out as 10 mile round journeys have now extended to 142 mile round trips, not bad on half a tank either. It is so much fun owning a CBF600, but I still need to get the rack and box situation sorted; then, I shall be very happy indeed.

Happy trails!

I Hate The Winter

I hate the painful winter!
I hate the loathsome rain!
I hate the horrible weather!
It’s a total fucking pain!

As each lonely day goes by,
And another chance is lost.
I look at my bike and frown;
Was it worth the total cost?

She sits coldly under a cover,
All hidden from the road;
A sorry sight for anyone
To have to behold.


The weather seems incessant.
I simply cannot get out.
Will someone please do something
To let me get out and about?

I bought the bike to ride on;
To enjoy the open road;
To go to all the bike meets
And possibly, travel abroad.

But all I see is rain and sleet
Come pissin down each day
As my mood gets lower and lower
And I think of selling on ebay!

I’m fed up with the bloody weather!
I’m fed up with the chances gone!
So someone please turn off the tap
So I can get riding on my own!


First Thoughts…

It is always a time for interesting moments when you get a new bike. You have to have time to get used to her, whatever she is.

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Having had before now, a Z250 Kwacker, a 650 Deauville, a GSX750 upright and a GSX1400, which I adored riding, I had been a few years out of the saddle before I decided with some pension money, to go and get another bike. At first it was going to be another GSX1400 but two falls in 2014 and the two herniated discs that came with the falls meant that I am not as strong as I once was, so brain overtook heart in the outside lane one day and I decided to ask around, in Facebook groups mainly, as to what bike would be best suited to the likes of this ageing cripple who wanted to get back on the road on two wheels and feel the wind in his face like a dog again.


One such group pointed me in the direction of the Hornet but I wanted something as exhilarating as the GSX1400 [or the 750] but with the fairing of the Deauville for protection from the wind. Many times bombing up the A1 to the Squires Cafe Bar from Doncaster saw me trying to hang on for dear life once the GSX got past 80 because she was as naked as can be and tried to blow me off the back end of the thing. But oh dear Lord, did I love that bike.

In the end, a naked Hornet was thought not wise for me as I am a big lad at 22 stone as well, but then someone said the Vstrom so I went and had a look online. I must admit to having liked what I saw and the cheapest on ebay, always a risk I know, at the time, was an 02 plate 1000cc Vstrom at £1695. Compared to the 04 plates for £2395 and the likes, I thought an 04 plate was too old; big money for something that aged. I wanted, if not needed, something younger, something around the 08 –  11 mark and someone suggested the CBF600 or the bigger brother, the CBF1000. It had the faired protection and the grunt to get you where you want, or out of bother.

There was a CBF1000 for sale on an 09 plate, for £2995 local so I went and had a look. It had 40,000 on the clock though, but the first thing I saw when I walked in was a Suzuki Bandit 1200 which took my eye, but yes, you guessed, I could not get my shortened legs over the damn thing and did not feel safe just sitting on it, so went and had a look at the CBF1000 and whilst it was nice, very nice in fact, it was a similar experience to the Bandit. Now I know there are settings to lower seat height on certain bikes, if not all, but you have to feel safe and ‘right’ when you sit on the thing, like I did on the Deauville and the GSX1400 each time, and neither of these fitted that bill. So I came home one unhappy chappy.

I wanted a bike! I needed a bike! Pronto!

Several more looks on ebay and I came across a CBF600SA on a 2010 plate, but I had never cocked a leg over one. I sussed the height might be less than its bigger brother, for obvious reasons, and ummed and arred about the thing for ages, before emailing the seller, a dealer in Blackpool. At the same time, I went to Doncaster and to where I got the 1400 from and they had a CBF600 in, so I went and had a sit on that and a chat with the fella there. I nearly bought that 06 plate for £2395 there and then, but I had already emailed this seller for the bike that is now mine, so I left it alone. Same money. Less miles on the 10 plate. Full MOT. Seemed a better deal to me, almost too good to be true. Eventually, I decided to throw my weight and my cash at the ebay seller, and as I live near Middlesbrough, once the deposit had been paid and the helmet and gear bought, a job and a half for a 4XL bonce like mine I can assure you, it was just a case of getting on the train, going over, seeing the thing, sealing the deal and riding her home.

Early one cold morning, I found that Northallerton train station has a parking limit of 20 minutes, or at least where I went did, so I missed my train and had to come home. As I did so, in the car, I mused over the next step. I had paid the £100 deposit. Should I buy blind? Is it worth the risk? £2295 more to pay is a lot of money when you are not seeing the thing. Would it be a pup? So, I decided to ask the seller to deliver for free, being a tad cheeky to save another £99 and he said okay and we sorted payment and I waited. Now there is a reason why I never had the chance to see a baby born to me and that is that I simply do not have the patience to take the stress, so waiting for this thing to be delivered was painful to say the least. I was an expectant biker after all.

But when it came and my first sight of her was on the back of the van, I simply stood there with my mouth open and my jaw doing a Tom and Jerry routine, dragging along the floor. She looked beautiful in the pictures but by God, she was even more sexy in the flesh. Red and black really works. Yes, there were some marks on her, the top box has a crack in it which will be replaced at some point in the Spring and a scrape here and there, but nothing to frighten anyone about. So we got her parked up and out came the camera to take the photos and do an introductory video, to share with my family and friends on Facebook.


I was in love again!

I did not go out on her for a few days, because the inclement weather stopped me. Living in the North East of the UK is a bugger at times because the weather can be harsh and I live in a small market town now, so it can be worse than the bigger towns. But by God, when I first went for a ride on my new bike, I was hooked after five minutes. I went only a few miles to Great Ayton and back, then to Nunthorpe and back, just to get the feel for her, but by the time I was coming back down to where I live, I noticed something that had been missing for so long from my face; a monster smile, akin to the Cheshire Cat in the books and films. I was loving it, living the dream of the open road again.

The second ride involved a ride to Kildale, over the tops, through the countryside. I wanted some photos of her in the countryside, but no soon as I had stopped, popped the side stand down, I put my left foot down straight into some dog mess. You know what they say: Shit for luck. And the last time, just a few days ago now, that I got the chance to ride her, I went for a trip to Guisborough and then Sandsend, where we both got very dirty indeed.


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The bike is a revelation though. She goes nice and steady from zero to 5,000 revs and then behaves like a hooligan on Speed once you push her through that limit. At 7k revs, you are going so fast that everyone else is looking at you in the outside lane thinking “where the hell is he going in such a hurry?” When she arrived, she had the original screen on, but I soon bought a GIVI screen and fitted it myself; the easiest thing in the world to do. I am no mechanic. I ride em, not fix em, so for me to be able to do that was a blessing. Thank you Youtube!

The bike is fantastic to ride, the engine is sweet, tuned perfectly for my needs, with the bodywork being so responsive. Heated grips are fabulous; the first time I have used them, ever. But the only criticism I have is that she does not like the twisties, or is that me needing new underwear when the tight ones come? Once, over Kildale, there was a very tight right turn, which I wobbled at, over shot and cut some of the corner. She just did not want to turn where I wanted her to go. I was just getting used to her but the look on the car driver’s face coming the other way when I blew the corner was one to cherish. My wife tells me that the acronym WTF stands for Welcome To Facebook. I think he was welcoming me that day, but he missed me and vice versa, so all was well. I did apologise and he smiled.


I bought her about 8 weeks ago, just before Christmas. She was, if you like, my Christmas present to myself and when the better weather comes, I will be off like a shot along to all the biker haunts, enjoying myself to the full. Well, after all, I am semi retired now from teaching, so when I am not being asked to interview, or being chatted up by some young lady on the phone to do a day here etc, that will be my chance. On a bike forum, there is a picture of the bike, under my avatar and then a signature that reads, “Hurry up Spring. My patience is running thin.”

Bring on Spring and Summer 2017.  I want to be out on my lovely CBF600 again and again. I feel a road trip to the borders of Scotland coming on and have bought myself a tent to go to the bike meetings with. Now that should be fun; camping and sleeping on hard ground with two herniated discs. Hey ho! The joys of two wheels!

Me And My Bike!

I may not look it, but I am a motorcycle lover. My first one was a Garelli Rekord, in 1977 or thereabouts, when I was sixteen.


I did enjoy the freedom of wearing the gear, sticking the L [oopy] Plates on and twisting that throttle back to the maximum of 30mph. This was back in the day when such things as derestricting a bike was frowned upon.

I had this for a few months until I started to work down the pit, at Yorkshire Main near Doncaster. Then I had so much disposable income, I just had to buy a new one so I went for the Suzuki AP50.


Now that was a lovely little grod. My mate next door had a 50cc and more or less all our mates did, but in the end, it was bound to be too small and as I began to get an interest in a certain racer who wore a number 7 on his bike, so my desire grew to get a bigger bike!


So I thought about what I could get, but then was hit by a car, right up the ass and back [and am still struggling now because of that accident]. It was partly my fault [always look over your shoulder that second and final time when setting off]. And it was a write off.

I broke my leg and damaged my back, but I did what you should and got back on, but now, I was determined to get a 250. Back in those days, someone on an L plate could get a Honda Superdream 250cc, as did my mates. But I went for the beautiful Kwacker below…


I adored that bike but at the time, I was a novice and more than once ended up on my ass, once with the bike overtaking me as I slid down Balby Road in Doncaster, on my way to the pit! But what a great bike she was. I put the fairing on, tank bag, drop over panniers and went from Doncaster to Southampton, Cherbourg, Bordeaux, Carcasonne, Sete, Avignon, Lyon, Paris, back to Cherbourg and then home, all in ten days.

In the end though, I lost my job and she had to go and for several years, was a confirmed car driver, until I began teaching. Then, at 40, I had the mid life crisis and a half that would lead me to buy a new bike, a Honda 650cc Deauville.


By this time I had a young family and my son and daughter fought with my wife for the pillion seat place. In the end they shared. But one day, I bought my wife a scooter to get about on and went into the bike shop to buy her a chain and padlock. I walked out with that and a brand new bike, and what a beast she was too!


I was in seventh heaven when I had this for the year or two I had her, from 2003 onwards. YN53 FUG was a number plate embellished on my memory and if I ever got the chance to buy her again I would in a heartbeat. I was riding this as much as possible, Cadwell Park, Snetterton race track, Bourne in Lincolnshire. Every time I could get out on it I did, but then, this government did something very wrong and that decision forced me out of a job, so I contacted the financier and they said sell it [aaaaargh!!!] and give us the money, then pay the rest bit by bit. What a pack of shite that advice was. I did not know it was not on HP and I could have kept it, but a DMP and then an IVA later and I am still paying for this one. Black Horse has a lot to answer for in my book.

And then came illness and unemployment, leading to disability. A Suzuki GSX750 on a Y plate was mine for a short time but it had to be sold when I could not afford car and bike. Life had turned to hell. But then I recently retired and when a little bit of cash came my way, I did what I said I would do when I got stiffed by BH and got myself a new bike.


In the end, you can take the biker off the bike, but not the bike out of the biker and so, this little beast, a 2010 plate Honda CBF600, is my new pal. The aim of this blog therefore, is to share some of the joys of riding this from now on. As I go out on her to different places, I shall take photos and add them here, to share the joys of motorcycling.

I may even add some stories from others, comments from social media and the occasional mad moment from the biking community, but mainly, it will be as it says on the title, me and my bike!